Necessary Sacrifices
by Grey-Rain-Cloud
Summary: It was a constant cycle; she remembered then forgot, over and over again. She doesn't realize she misses him until he comes back. Somethings about to happen though, he's told her, and he'll need her help. He's always been there for her, and it's finally her turn to repay him. It would be easier if she could remember that she wanted to though.
1. Chapter 1

The Black Widow had been in many scenarios where she should have died. It surprised everyone who knew her that she was still alive considering the times she had gone into a situation where death seemed imminent all alone.

The thing that they didn't know though was that she hadn't been alone.

He had been visiting her since she was young, probably about five. He was her friend and teacher and first crush. He was her father figure. Every time he would visit he would teach her self-defence. They would play games sometimes too, like chess, and he bought her gifts—books, knives, a pretty necklace filled with poison. There was one thing though, that she would be forever grateful for: he taught her how to lie.

Whenever she was facing something that she couldn't handle by herself without dying, he would pop out of nowhere and help her out just in time, then explain what she did wrong.

Every time he came she would remember all of his previous visits and kindnesses, but when he inevitably left, she would forget all but his lessons.

"Who are you?" She asked him once. She was eighteen, and had finally asked the question she had wanted to know for ages. They were sitting in a bar and both had vodka untouched in front of them. He had been wearing his customary black suit and green and gold scarf. She had wondered if he ever changed. Her question didn't really matter though, because no matter who or what he was, it would not sway her own opinion. She loved him in her own odd way, and was sure he felt the same way. "Why do you help me? Why save me?"

He stayed silent for a good five minute, just staring at her with his too-powerful jade eyes. The Black Widow waited. "I am Loki," he said, "and in time I will need your help."

She was hurt for a moment. Was he only bothering with her because he wanted something in return? But no, if he had only been using her, he would not have gotten her birthday presents; he wouldn't have made her feel loved.

Her response was to hold his hand briefly, and then downing her shot along with his.

On his last visit, around the time where there was a big problem going on in New Mexico, he gave her a vial filled with golden liquid. "Keep it with you at all times." He said. "Do not lose it."

"What does it do? When do I use it?"

"It will bring me back, and you will know when it is needed." He looked a little hurried. "Natasha, there are events that I have been preparing for, ones that I have dreaded. It is needed though, for your world and mine. It is my move, and there are some necessary sacrifices that I need to make."

Then he was gone, and Natasha Romanoff was left standing alone with a vial in her hand wondering even as she placed it in her bra why she felt the need to protect it with her life.


	2. Chapter 2

It was soft at first, almost unnoticeable. But it niggled and grew, until it was a tapeworm that consumed her thoughts. It wasn't painful, but it was close. She was filled with unease as to why she couldn't bring herself to hate the war criminal Loki for what he had done to Earth. To Clint. Whenever she thought of him—Loki—her hand would involuntarily move to her chest, where she kept the vial of liquid gold that smelled of sunshine and spices. She still didn't know why she carried it so protectively, and whenever she tried to think that it was odd that she didn't know what it did and that it could be dangerous, her stomach clenched and her heart squeezed, and she just _knew_ that it wasn't time yet—time for what, she had no idea—and that she couldn't tell anybody.

So she ignored it, but the thoughts—sharp as glass but soft as pillows; a rough carpet you're not sure is uncomfortable of not—remained.

Two days after the Chitauri invasion Natasha and Clint were on Loki watching duty. He had been behaving oddly, flinching randomly, mumbling in his sleep, and pulling at his hair while groaning as if in pain. It set all of Shield on edge. Thor was getting increasingly concerned for his brother for his "Highly unusual behavior." Clint just thought that it supported Doctor Banner's bag of cat's theory. Loki had even—before the muzzle was produced—asked for Advil, which creeped everybody out because _how did he know about Advil?_

When the two Shield Agents walked into the cell room where Loki was chained and muzzled, his eyes snapped in their direction. There was something so wrong to Natasha about him, and no matter how many times she tried to convince herself that it was just because she was uncomfortable in his presence or that she was scared of his magic, she never succeeded.

"Good morning." She said when it became apparent that Clint was going to stay silent.

Loki just stared at her—not that he could have spoken even if he wanted to—and she refused to look away. That was when she noticed that his eyes were flickering. One eye stayed a lovely jade, while the other fought between icy and bloodshot blue and the matching jade one. Loki had his brows furrowed in concentration and there was sweat dotting across his forehead. Even as Natasha watched, the eye turned back to bloody-blue and Loki let out another pained groan. That was when the Black Widow finally remembered everything.

"He really does seem crazy doesn't he?" Clint didn't even bother whispering, but either way Natasha wouldn't have heard. She was rushing to the door to the locked cell, and ignoring Hawkeye's shouts she blindly punched in the pass code and went to Loki's side.

"Tasha! Natasha, what are you doing?" Clint grabbed her hands before she could take off the muzzle.

She took a deep breath to steady herself. She couldn't believe that this is what Loki had meant by sacrifices; it was too much. Why was this all necessary? She whipped around to face Clint. "You need to trust me. Clint. I need you to let me do this." Natasha knew that it was a lot to ask of him, and that for anyone else he would have refused.

Clint slowly took a step away and dropped her hands. "Just be careful Tasha." He frowned unhappily. "Are you sure that whatever you're doing is worth it?" The red head nodded. "Okay then."

Natasha resumed taking off the muzzle, and once it was gone Loki opened his mouth, probably to say something horrible, but Natasha didn't give him a chance. She threw the golden contents of the vial into his mouth. He tried to spit it out of course, but the Black Widow slapped a hand on his mouth and plugged his nose until he swallowed.

By this point the people that were on surveillance had alerted Director Fury and the Avengers of what was happening and they all burst in, but it was too late. Loki's two colored eyes rolled up into his head, and he thrashed for a bit until he was abruptly still. His breathing regulated, and his eyed went back to normal. They were both now green.

"Thank you Natasha." Loki smiled. He had lost the cruel and insane edge and he looked so immensely relieved.

"I've missed you." Natasha hugged him.

"What the fuck." Clint summed it up perfectly for everybody.


End file.
